Still MORE Gun Fun in the ER!

 

So, after everybody heard of my rollicking good times with Mr. GottaGo and his knife, well, they were SOOO jealous. Or, not so much. In any event, subsequently, restrained folks had their clothing removed and placed in a bag, “for safekeeping”, and property inventoried so as to ensure that everything brought in, went home with them.

Soon thereafter, I was working, and our local fire department brought in this soul, who got restrained (for seemingly good reasons, although, at this distance, I could not tell you what that was). The other nurses appeared to have things under control, and so I was busy doing something else. Knowing that I am a “gun guy”, one nurse came to me, TINS©, with a revolver in one hand, and a magazine in the other.

“Look what we found in Mr. Man’s pants! Sure glad we got everything!”

I took the revolver from her, and dumped the cylinder into a specimen cup. I checked it again, and again, and, once almost convinced it was unloaded, I asked her, “It that everything you found?”

“Yep! We got it all!”

“Uh, no you didn’t. That (indicated magazine) does not go with this (indicated revolver).”

“What do you mean? Isn’t that how he reloads it?”

“Nope. Just for an experiment, why don’t you try to reload this with that?”

She took a couple of minutes poking, turning, and re arranging, but could not get the magazine to mate with the revolver. I retrieved both from her, and placed them into a property envelope, locking both in the narcotics drawer. “Let’s frisk our friend, one more time, just to be certain”.

We found nothing, but when security arrived to secure the firearm, they, too, frisked our guest again, wondering what he had done with the semi-auto the magazine went to.

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More gun fun in the Emergency Department

I have to go to my car…because of my stainless steel model 59….

Another time, I was working the floor in our little hospital ER, and a gentleman arrived, and, since it was a Saturday afternoon in July, well, he had a lengthy opportunity to enjoy the hospitality offered by our waiting room. Like, hours and hours.

So, TINS©, when I finally brought this gentleman back, and read the triage note regarding his cough, I handed him one of our gowns, and asked him, “Would you please take off everything above your waist, and put on our gown so it opens in the back?”

“I have to talk to my cousin.”

I was kinda busy. “Right now?”

“Yes, right now.”

I was puzzled. “What could you possibly have left to say to him, after spending, what, three hours in our waiting room?”

He shrugged, and drew back the left side of his shirt. There, situated crossdraw in a belt holster, was a shiny Smith and Wesson Model 59 semi automatic pistol. Nice.

“Is that what you needed to talk to your cousin about?”

“Yes.”

Then, I asked what may be the stupidest question of my entire life. (except for the time I asked my wife how she became pregnant. She looked at me and replied, “Really? You were there!”) I asked him, “Sir, do you have a permit for that?”

He said, “Yes.”

Really? What was he going to say, “No, I’m a felon.”, or “No, but I’m gonna carry it around with me anyhow.”? And, what was I going to do with that information? Disarm him? Really?

What I did, was provide the direction I should have started with. “Uh, sir? We really don’t want pistols in our waiting room, just like we don’t really want them in our emergency department.”

He shrugged, again. “Can I go to my car?”

“Certainly! Please come right back!”

He nodded, and I walked with him to our exit door. The security officer at that post asked me what was happening. “See that car, that that gentleman is going to? Please keep a close eye on it, because he’s just now putting a stainless steel 9 mm model 59 away in that car.”

Why do ER staff frisk patients? This is why!

TINS©. Once I had left Da City’s EMS, I was an Emergency Department nurse in , surprisingly, Da City. Now, this was in the depths of the then current round of the nursing shortage, and so (a) they put me in charge (BIG mistake!), and (b) we had rent a nurses working with us. You might imagine, folks who have spent their careers working in the hospital may not be entirely as cynical as I am, and so might have a different level of urgency regarding, say, frisking a patient, than I do. Remember that thought.

So, one soul, a frequent flyer at our department, was brought in by the local fire department. This municipality was entirely within the border of Da City, but had stand alone police and fire services. These firefighters also provided EMS for the community. This particular wintry evening, they brought us an intoxicated fellow, who wanted to misbehave. Prior to my arrival, the evening staff had placed this gentleman in a vest type restraint, and settled him into a corner with a couple of blankets, and an admonition to take a nap.

So, once things had pretty much cleared out, I figured that a walk through, and placing eyes on my charges might be useful, and so I set out.

As I cleared the curtains surrounding our friend (mistake number one), I noted that he was fiddling with his vest. Closer inspection revealed that he had secured a knife (frisk fail, mistake number two!), and appeared to be attempting to cut his way free, presumably thereafter to make his escape. Acting prior to thinking this all the way thorough (mistake number three!), I grasped the hand with the knife, and extended his arm over the top of the bed, bending it, and securing it, and the knife within, with both hands.

That gave him the opportunity to consider the advantages he might enjoy, by popping me in my face with his off hand. Having considered, he tried to act, and so there we were, me holding onto the knife hand with both of mine, bobbing and weaving to avoid punches directed, drunkenly, my way by our guest, and calling for assistance.

One of the agency nurses walked over to see what the fuss was about. She stood there, motionless, for a long moment, until I suggested, “Ya know, if you could get some security in here, right stat like, that would be wonderful!”

I shit you not: she pivoted in place, and bellowed, “Security Stat To The ER!”

Sheesh! I amended my suggestion. “That was very nice. Now, if you were to open that door over there, and go out in the hallway, where our friends from security actually are, and tried it all over again, it might be just a little more helpful!”

She did earn bonus points for “Listening to and following directions”. Shortly, our friends from security piled into the room, relieved Mr. GottaGo of his knife, replaced his restraint, and frisked him, thoroughly this time. I frisked him, myself, because, well, reasons. I found no surprises. This time.