Another ER night shift, another exciting opportunity to triage.
So, TINS, TIWFDASL, and another lucky soul ambled in to have his disease fought and his life saved from the scourge, the morbid threat, the life changing consequences of having contracted….THE SNIFFLES!
I sought to elicit his chief complaint, history of present illness, review of systems, daily medications, and medication allergies. His answer to the last, stopped me in my tracks.
“I’m allergic to everything.”
I did another literal, physical double take. “Pardon?”
“I’m allergic to everything!”
“Uh, sir? Are you telling me that you have never, ever, in your entire life, taken a medication that failed to make you ill? Every single time? Without exception?”
“Every time? Not once did a medication fail to make you ill? Every single one you have ever taken?”
“I’ll make sure the doctor knows that.”