Pains in my Fifth Point of Contact

Cletus and the sick note

Perhaps you have heard of The Cornosvirus, aka The Wuhan novel Coronavirus, aka the WuFlu, aka The CCP Pox, aka The Shanghai Sniffles. Now known, PC-ly, as C.O.V.I.D. (sounds like a Bond villain, don’t it?). So, TINS©, TIWFDASL©, and Cletus, trivially ill, wandered in, requesting a test for the Coronavirus as well as a return to work note (he related that he had called off sick for a couple of days, and, and needed a doctor note in order to return to work). He related that he had run out of paid time off, and needed to return to work.

The next day, my registrar hunted me down, and presented me with the dilemma: his employer had called, asking what to do about Cletus. Cletus had evidently informed his employer that he, Cletus, had been tested for the WuFlu, and they (the employer) were asking what to do about Cletus returning to work?

“My note stated that he was medically released to return to work, once he had a negative coronavirus test result in hand.”

My registrar returned, “But his result won’t be reported for another 4-5 days.”

“Yep. And, once he has that negative result in hand, he can return to work.”

“I told them that. They are on hold, still asking me what to do about Cletus.”

“Lemme talk to them!”

I picked up, announced myself, and asked what I could do for them?

“We don’t know what to do about Cletus, since he does not have his test result, but your note says that he can return to work.”

“Ma’am, my recommendation is that you follow your organization policy regarding employees who have been tested for coronavirus, and pending results.”

“But, he doesn’t look sick, and we don’t know of any exposure to C.O.V.I.D.!”

“Uh-huh. So, what do you folks do about any other employee who has been tested for coronavirus, and does not have results yet?”

“They have to quarantine at home, until ten days or a negative test report.”

“Perhaps it would be a good idea to follow your organization’s policy in this regard.”

3 thoughts on “Cletus and the sick note

  1. You missed Kung Flu in your identifying pronouns list. ;-)) I guess you missed the press conference where President Trump got one of the left wing, stupid (but I repeat myself) reporters to repeat that 3 or 4 times. You are forgiven as you were probably FDASL.

    Like

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