Duty · Sometimes You Get to Think That You Have Accomplished Something!

“You’re Gonna Miss This”

Trace Adkins had a song, several years ago, entitled “You’re Going to Miss This”. The narrator recounts telling his adolescent daughter she will miss the security of having her parents around to take care of things. Another verse has him counseling his now adult, now married, now a mother, daughter, that “you’re gonna miss this”, “this” being her cramped apartment with her new husband, later her house with young children.

In the two years before my mother’s death, I remembered that song. During hour plus drives to visit Mom, in her apartment across the state. I told my wife, “ya know, I’m gonna miss this!”, followed by a synopsis of that song.

When, visiting Mom, she had Chris Cuomo (spit!) on her television, the volume set at “11”, likely to accommodate her diminished hearing, I breathed deeply, and thought, “You’re gonna miss this”.

(realize that I supported Mr. Trump, and thought that Mr. Biden ought to be allowed to spend his waning days in the company of his children and grandchildren, spending his Chinese money as he saw fit. Oddly, Mom had a different opinion. Who knew?)

With the above parenthetical comment in mind, when Mom would attempt to drag me into some sort of political debate, such as how Mr. Trump was ill mannered or something similarly important to me (or not. Please, Ghawd! More mean tweets, less food and energy inflation!), I would placidly respond, “Hmmm. Mr. Trump sure elicits controversy, doesn’t he?” And I would remember, “You’re gonna miss this!”

I would take my mother shopping. THAT was entertaining! If you have successfully committed every one of my posts to memory, you will recall my joy at obliviots who would threaten to collide their shopping carts with my children. I, naturally, *did* recall this experience, and noted assholes who appeared entirely willing to knock my century old mother onto her ass. Since that would would have elicited a General Nguyen Ngoc Loan aisle side justice response on my part, and, well, people would talk (And scream. and so forth), I felt that prevention was easier to explain. I redeployed my “Colossus With Bad Attitude” persona, and blocked the aisle upstream of where my mother was shopping. She, of course, required ONE PARTICULAR Brand of baked beans, in one specific size, none other would do. This required considerable searching. After that PITA, well, I’d drive Mom back to her apartment, thinking, “You’re gonna miss this!”

On one visit, I thought that it would be nice if I were to prepare some lasagna for my mother, placed in “unit dose”, single serving plastic containers. Thereby, she could fish one out of the frig, microwave it, and enjoy.

Of course, I did it wrong. She laughed, and asked me, “Do you think that I am some kind of helpless old lady, who cannot even cook?” (Not exactly, but, reports from my sister in law, Donna- Praise Be Upon Her for orchestrating my mother’s household, doctor visits, medications, dog vet appointments, and every other kind of appointment- suggested that burned pans were a foreshadowing of other culinary, and perhaps incendiary, mishaps to come)

Once we had eaten, and I was washing dishes, she asked me, “That was not my recipe, was it? I think I like my recipe better!”

And, I thought, “you’re gonna miss this!”

Trace Adkins was correct.

3 thoughts on ““You’re Gonna Miss This”

  1. …and THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is how you heal from loss. Remember the good things, smile when you think of them, forget the other stuff.

    I had something in my eye when I read this, having lost my mother, at 98, a scant three years ago.

    Like

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