Fun With Suits! · Having A Good Partner Is Very Important! · Pains in my Fifth Point of Contact · Pre Planning Your Scene

Interview Skills

A long, long time ago, in a Galaxy not so very far away, TWWWBTP (The Woman Who Would become The Plaintiff) had graduated LPN school, and was starting her LPN-to-RN studies, and I was seeking a change of employment. I was looking to add ICU to my resume, since the grad school I had my sights on required it. This one hospital was recruiting, and proclaiming that nurses who accepted positions in their ICU, would receive a $10,000 sign on bonus.

I investigated, and learned that one half of this bonus would be paid upon completion of one year of employment, and the second half would be forthcoming after completion of the second year of employment. Sounded good to me, and so I arranged an interview.

Since TWWWBTP, at that point TDW-Mark I, thought that it would be problematic should I accept a job requiring me to drive halfway across the state, as this position would, perhaps she should investigate employment (and schooling) opportunities there, as well.

Sounded good to me.

On the appointed day, she and I arrived for our interviews. I learned of the position, and they told me, “You do know, don’t you, that we require a two year commitment from nurses in order to qualify for this bonus, right?”

I acknowledged that I did, indeed, comprehend this aspect of the arrangement, and stated, “Yep, I expect that I can wait two years before going to grad school!”

They acknowledged my comment, and we proceeded.

So, we concluded our interview, TDW-Mark I and I, and we sat in the lobby, awaiting their offer(s). We were summoned, and received the news: TDW-Mark I was offered a PART TIME, LPN job. As for me, well, I did not receive an offer. They informed me, “We are looking for nurses who want to come here, and settle down here, in our community. With your grad school plans, well, you do not appear to be a good fit for that sort of longevity.”

Cool story. We drove home, TDW-Mark I composing her “Thanks but no thanks” letter in her head, and I remarked, “Ya know, honey, I believe that I have figured out what I did wrong!”

She replied, with some side-eye, “Oh, really? What was that? Other than being truthful about your higher education plans, I mean?”

“Well, you see, I should have walked in there, paused just inside the door, and, James T. Kirk like, spread my arms in an all encompassing gesture, slowly turned, taken in a deep breath, and declaimed, “I…I..feel, I feel as if I have come….HOME! I….I want my children…to grow, TALL, under these…these Blue ! Skies!…I want to spend my days….Breathing! This! Clean! Air! I…I want…my..bones, to rest…to, REST…beneath …these green hills! I…I feel as if…I am…at..HOME!”

I looked over at my bride. She smiled, and responded, “So, you are telling me that you should have lied your ass off, right?”

“Of course, right!”

Fun And Games · Life in Da City!

RANDOM THOUGHTS, INSTALLMENT NUMBER VIII

@The other day, my MA gave me the typical “thumbnail” report of my next patient. “(sick person of some sort”), (vitals), ….And, you know, he’s older.”

This particular soul was born TEN YEARS after I was!

@ROBOCALLS: I receive telephone calls, from time to time, from unknown numbers. Almost every one is from some computer dialed bullshit. My practice is to say “Hello”, and then begin to count ten seconds. If there is no human being on the line by then, according to my (it’s a robo call: I’m not particularly patient) timer, I hang up.

If there is some human on the line by then, they have, maybe, ten or fifteen seconds to convince me that I have any interest whatsoever in speaking to them.

And, if it’s one of those “we need to speak to you about your computer repair the other day” idiots, it depends: if I’m feeling froggy, I may stay on the line simply to trifle with them and waste their time. If I’m feeling curmudgeonly (which, to be honest, is most of the time), I hang up. In mid word.

OVERHEARD THE OTHER DAY:

Joe-Bob arrives, asking if he could get the work note written for Cletus. The clerk inquired after Cletus’ last name. Joe-Bob did not know Cletus’ last name.

She asked if Joe-Bob knew Cletus’ date of birth? “Nope.”

Cletus’ phone number?

“Nope.”

Cletus’ SSN?

(surprisingly/sarc) “Nope!”

Did Joe-Bob know the date of the visit which elicited Cletus’ work note?

(say it with me, now…) “Nope.”

She wrote down *OUR* phone number, and suggested that, once Joe-Bob rejoined Cletus, perhaps he, Joe-Bob, could invite him, Cletus, to telephone us, and at that point arrangements could be made.

@ Life Lesson: A lesson learned from hard experience: No matter how frequently you look at your watch, in the middle of an awful shift, it is still 3 o’clock!

Life in Da City!

Questions Above My Pay Grade

A long, long time ago, back in Da City, I had left EMS, and was employed as a nursing house supervisor. In the course of my rounds, I stopped by ER. The staff chatted with me, revealed that things appeared to be under control, and they needed for nothing at that time.

One of the staff nurses drew me aside, and murmured, “Check out the ER doc that they sent us!”

I asked, of course, “Why?”, and was told, “Never mind! Once you chat with him, you will know!”

I approached him, introducing myself, and asked how his night was going. I was struck by the fact that he appeared to have several freckles about his face, each with a glint as of metal. Each, in fact, about the size of a pin head. I figured that was odd, concluded my conversation, and moved on.

I subsequently encountered one of the ER nurses in the cafeteria. “What did you make of Dr. Pins?”

“Couldn’t tell you. Never seen anything like it, before!”

So, a little later that night, I cruised through ER, again. (part of my “management by wandering around” strategy). The doc asked me if he could speak to me, in private. That was odd, but, sure, whatev’s.

So, back in the physician’s office, he began to describe a patient. I mean, as in how a resident (or a midlevel) would staff a patient with an attending. He wound up with his query: what did *I* (remember: the NURSING supervisor, with no provider chops whatsoever at this time) think that the patient ought to have done?

I tried not to stutter: I really, really did. I suspect that I failed, but I did manage to observe that other physicians had ordered this, or that test, and not uncommonly had discharged the patient with a prescription for this, that, or the other thing.

The following afternoon, my boss, the afternoon Nursing Director, and I had a chat. A lengthy chat. About Dr. Pins.

Life in Da City! · Pains in my Fifth Point of Contact

The Sunshine Rule, Revisited

As you may recall, my go-to principle is that everybody brings sunshine into my life. Sometimes, that is when a soul arrives……

So, TINS©, TIWFDASL© one sunny Saturday morning, and my very first child of Ghawd rolled his eyes when I asked, “do you have any allergies to medication?”, which is part of my Mark I-Mod Ø interview question set.

My inattentive friend responded, “Of course I have allergies! My nose has been stuffy and runny for a week!”

I tried it, once more. “Do you have any MEDICATION allergies?”

“I dunno”

(sigh) “Are you taking any prescription medication?”

“Yeah….”

“Can you tell me what medication you are taking?”

“Nope. Cannot remember.” (eye roll)

I concluded that further interview would waste my time and annoy this gentleman, further. And so, a surly exam followed.

COMMENTARY: Simply so you know, IDGAF what you are allergic to, nor do I care what medication you are/are not taking, despite your physician’s goading, instruction, entreaties, or hectoring.

I *DO* care, very much, that I do *NOT* prescribe prescribe a medication that will cause your immune system to turn you into a fireball. Similarly, I really, really do *NOT* want to prescribe a medication that, in concert with whatever the (expletive) you are, indeed, taking, will perhaps form a binary explosive in your bloodstream. Because you could not/would not tell me whatever else you are, indeed, taking.

So, to me, this sort of thing is kind of important. Please, try to keep up.