To be honest, y’all, I present snippets when the fountain of (I certainly hope…) entertaining stories has run a bit slowly, or I have collected several thought fragments which do not inspire an entire blog post. So, with that in mind, here is my latest installment of snippets.
Conversation with a child of Ghawd: “What makes your cough worse?” “What do you mean, ‘worse’?” (never mind: I now know that the answer is “nothing”.)
My mornings: I set the alarm for 0700, in order to get up, get around, and get to work. Kitty wants to play, at 0600.
I wonder if it would save me a lot of pointless conversation should I get a tattoo on my non dominant arm, saying, “Good talk! Here’s your Z-Pak! Have a nice day!”
Triaging one night as an RN, chucklehead enters bitching nonstop, “Stupid hospital! Stupid doctors! Stupid…” “Yes, ma’am, and I am likely the dumbest one here!” “But, you’re a nurse! You cannot be a nurse, and be stupid!” “Yet, ma’am, here I am, as are you! Now, what brought to us tonight?”
”I am going to prescribe an antibiotic for you. What pharmacy do you use?” “I don’t use any pharmacy. I never get sick.” (sigh) “So, what pharmacy are you going to go to, when you do go looking for your antibiotic?”
Overheard conversation among the MA staff: “So, he and I used to ride the bus together!” (I interject) “Is THAT what you kids call it, nowadays?”
When your MA starts report with, “So this guy, almost a year ago…”, you know that whatever follows is very likely to be some sort of cluster.
One day, I will snap, and I will write the following off work note: “Cletus was seen today in clinic. He is released to return to work after the heat death of the universe.”