One time, my family gathered at a restaurant in Greektown, celebrating one occasion or another. This was in Downtown Da City, and, at this time, there had developed the phenomenon of flash mobs, wherein high spirited youths would apparently spontaneously congregate at one location or another, and in the course of the festivities, civilians, otherwise uninvolved with the group, would be assaulted and robbed.
TDW-Mark II and I spoke of such an event, and the potential for same to develop when our children, and grandchildren were at hand, and decided that this Would Be A Very Bad Thing. We selected our wardrobes accordingly.
It turns out that my son in law, my daughter, and my brother, all feel similarly about this sort of thing, for, when I counseled my sister in law, a very nice (and very naive) soul that, “If a group of folks all enter this restaurant all at once, I will tell you to take the children into the kitchen of the restaurant, and keep them there. Under no circumstances are you, or any of the children, to re enter the dining room, unless one of us physically arrives to escort you out!”
She protested, “But, we aren’t allowed into the kitchen!”
I showed her my wolf grin. “If I tell you to do so, I guarantee that nobody will say a word about you and the children being in the kitchen. The noise will be way, way too loud for you to hear them, if they were to do so!”
She looked puzzled. My son in law explained. “Mary, if Brenda grabs the kids and beelines to the kitchen, two things: do not be left behind, and do NOT get between her and the kitchen door!”
“Why is that?”
“If you are between Brenda and the kitchen door, and one of the ‘celebrants’ starts into the kitchen, he will be shot. Do not be in the way.”
Mary turned back to me. “Why would they try to go into the kitchen?”
I wolf grinned her way, again. “Because I had failed to kill them.”
My son in law chimed in, “I will have missed them, too!”
TDW-Mark II joined in. “Me, most likely I will have run out of ammunition. I do not plan to miss!”
My brother observed, “And, I will police up the stragglers, if any!”
Looking aghast, Mary declaimed, “You cannot believe that anybody would try to hurt somebody at random! I just do not believe such a thing could happen!”
TDW responded, “You just keep on believing that. In the meantime, if The Stretcher Ape tells you to get into the kitchen with the kids, do so right fucking now, pretty please?”
3 thoughts on “Dressing For Success”
Good for y’all. I hope Mary listens.
I also find it hard to believe that people would hurt other innocent people at random; they have a plan.
Also, being one-eyed, old, fat guy, I have lotsa ammo at hand because I’m a crappy shot. I don’t remember the last time I ate at a restaurant instead of eating my own efforts.
May your meals be unperturbed.
Thank you. Thanks be to Mars, that meal was uneventful.
“Mars”… as we are not quite to the point of open warfare, I propose we make the reently deposed Pluto the God of Indigestion and/or the Aftermath of a Righteous Shooting.