Fun And Games · Trivia; Pursuits!

Brigadoon….I Mean, Bagwanistan…

Taking off from my Pradesh encounter, know that, when I am speaking of some phenomenon occurring in some backwater, stool-hole corner of the world, I refer to that area as “Bagwanistan”.

Of course, folks who have followed events in South West Asia might recognize names such as Pakistan, Afghanistan, Tajikistan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, or Kyrgyzstan. None of them are teeming metropolises, centers of industry, or commercial powerhouses.

Bagwan is derived from the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, who was founder of Rajneeshpuram, near Antelope Oregon. This was a religious community, steeped in controversy.

Connect them, in a neologism, and you have a “word” to depict someplace in the suburbs of nowhere, rooted in tribalism and not modern in any way.

So, when in conversation about world affairs at my workplace, I commonly reference Bagwanistan as the site of this or that tumult, or the origin of some undocumented soul presently on Immigration’s radar.

All that was to relate how, the other day, one of my partners, a clever young man, educated and thoughtful, asked me where Bagwanistan was located?

He was genuinely surprised when I informed him it was across the county from Brigadoon, which did not exist either.

Fun And Games Off Duty · Pains in my Fifth Point of Contact

PRADESH SHOULD WORRY

The other day, I had a couple of opportunities to deal with customer service.

Yep, this is another one of THOSE posts.

My first call was to Enormous Bank And Usurious Credit Card Company (EBAUCCC). I had paid off my balance a couple of months ago, and presently was employing it as a charge card: you know, “Hmm, I think I’ll buy this online thing, and then pay off that charge this very month, thereby bypassing that entire usurious level of interest charge thing!”.

So, I was reviewing my tally of purchases, contained in the billing statement (remember that piece), and noted a couple of charges that I did not recall making, along with a charge that I had, indeed, made, but that I recalled as being $7, not $25, each month.

I telephoned the EBAUCCC “customer service”. I was connected with Pradesh, apparently manning a call center in Bagwanistan.

Now, to his credit, Pradesh’s engrish is far superior to my own command of Pashtun. Having said that, I reserve the right to be frustrated when I explained that I had questions about how to contact two vendors cited on my billing statement, because I had questions about the charges therein.

And, Pradesh responds, “So, Mr. Reltney, you have not received your billing statement, and you have a question about it?”

I stated, “Nope, I indeed have my statement. I have been reading it. There are two charges on it that I have questions about. I want contact information for those vendors, so that I can ask them those questions.”

Pradesh responded, “So, Mr. Reltney, you have had fraudulent charges? I can cancel your card and issue you a new one.”

“No, I do NOT want a new card. Do Not Cancel My Card. Give me the contact information for two of the vendors on this statement, so that I can contact them and obtain answers to questions that I have.”

Again, Pradesh: “So, Mr. Reltney, you need your statement, since you have not received it yet, correct?”

I grasped my statement, and rattled it over the microphone of my phone. (rattle, rattle, rattle) “I have my statement. I have been reading it, and that is why we are having that conversation. May I please speak to a supervisor?”

I spoke to a supervisor, who appeared to speak English as a native born speaker. I received the information I needed, and we concluded the call.

Now, compare and contrast that experience with my call to An Un Named Satellite Radio Service. I had thought that my monthly rate was $7. My credit card bill revealed that it appeared to be $25/month.

I phoned the radio service, and spoke to the “Radio Services AI assistant”. This robot appeared to speak native english. I stated my concern (bill looks to be $25 a month, versus my expectation of $7/mo). The AI acknowledged my question (accurately!), and stated “Give me a minute to see what I can tell you about that”. Moments later, I learned that I had been on an introductory rate for 12 months, that rate had expired in August of ‘25, and I had been being billed at the regular rate since.

I stated, “That is disappointing. Your service is indeed worth $7/month to me, but it is not worth $25/month.”

I was told, “Please hold on a moment. I’ll see what I can do about that.”

Again, moments later, the AI stated, “I can give you 12 months of our new customer rate of $7/month, starting with the new year. Once that 12 months is up, the rate will be the regular rate. Is that satisfactory?”

“That is entirely satisfactory. Thank you.”

That was followed by a dramatic reading of the terms and conditions, that I had to explicitly consent to (I did so), and the call terminated.

Now, stipulating my delight at interacting with computers (such as, negative delight), this Satellite Radio Service AI, in my interaction with it, was entirely ready for prime time.

In contrast to Pradesh.

Who should learn to code.

Fun And Games · oops!

Shoveling Rain

A comment in response to my “I’m already in favor of globull warmening, you don’t have to sell me!” post, reminded me of a joke.

Once upon a time, an American engineer, a Canadian farmer, and a Taliban were walking along a beach together (don’t ask why…).

The trio came upon a bottle, and the Canadian picked it up. and brushed the sand off of it.

A puff of smoke developed from the bottle, and an enormous djinni materialized.

“You have released the djinni from his bottle! You have three wishes!”, he intoned.

The Canadian, startled, dropped the bottle, and stammered, “Who? Me?”

The djinn turned to the farmer. “Yes. What is your wish?”

The Canadian contemplated for but a moment. “My wish is that Canada will have fertile soil, just enough rainfall, at just the right times, and this will persist until the end of time!”

The djinn paused a moment, snapped his fingers, and intoned, “It is so! Who has the next wish?”

The Taliban stepped around the other two, and announced, “I want my beloved Afghanistan forever free of the polluting influence of the decadent west! Can you surround it with an impervious wall, reaching up to the heavens, settling it’s foundations on the very bedrock of the earth, and completely unable to be penetrated by anything whatsoever!”

The djinni again paused, snapped his fingers, and intoned, “It is so! You!”, he pointed at the American engineer, and demanded, “What is your wish?”

The American asked a question. “So, can you tell me about this wall the Taliban fellow wished for?”

The djinni intoned, “It reaches to the heavens, it is set upon the very bedrock of the earth, it is completely impervious to anything your puny human mind can imagine!”

“Hmm,” mused the American. “Are there any limits on my wish?”

“There are. You cannot wish for anyone to die, you cannot wish for anyone to be brought back to life, you cannot wish for eternal life.”

The American acknowledged the limits. “Got it. Now, about that wall: can you fill it with water?”

cats · Sometimes You Get to Think That You Have Accomplished Something!

The Cat Who Learned To Purr: a (very) short story

Listen, children, to a story about the cat who learned to purr.

Nearly all children, and grownups as well, like to pet kitties, feeling their soft warm fur flow beneath their fingers. Most kitties enjoy it as well. When they do, the kitties purr, which is their song of contentment, of joy, of trust.

A while ago, two grandparents lived in a small town, sort of away from The City.
One day they noticed that Max the Cat was peering out of one window, running to another and peering out of that one, and then running to a third window and peering out of that one as well.

Grandmother went to the window herself, to see what had Max the Cat so excited. She saw a cat, leading a parade of four tiny kittens around the house.

Grandmother began to leave bowls of cat food out for Momma Kitty, as Grandmother and Grandfather named her, along with bowls of water. Grandmother would sit quietly, a ways away from the food, and softly speak to Momma Kitty, as she, Momma, would cautiously eat and drink.

Soon, Momma Kitty, half wild and very cautious around these “Human” creatures, would allow Grandmother to sit closer, and closer, and closer, until one day when Momma Kitty was on the porch, meowing for Grandmother to fill her food bowl. Grandmother then opened the kitchen door and invited Momma Kitty to come inside and out of the cold.

Both Grandmother and Grandfather were most surprised when Momma Kitty sauntered in, selected a chair in a window, leapt up to it, turned three times, and curled up, looking at the people as if to say, “What? You invited me in, and here I am!”

Grandmother realized that Momma Kitty had her kittens, and those kittens were NOT! In the house. She walked outside, looked around and found the kittens, bringing them inside as well.

Momma was sort of stand offish at first. Which, when you think about it, makes sense: she had been an outdoor cat, not somebody’s cat, and had lived her life away from humans. Probably, some humans had been mean to her, and that would make her even more frightened of people.

But, because Grandfather and Grandmother would feed her, and talk quietly to her, and offer her the opportunity to sniff their hands before slowly moving to pet her (which, after all, is only the proper thing for polite cats to do, don’t you know!), she started to relax, to not run away, to allow the people to pet her once or twice.

Momma Kitty saw how her kittens enjoyed being petted, and how her kittens would snuggle up with the people, one kitten choosing Grandmother as Her Human, sleeping on Grandmother’s pillow with her at night, the other choosing Grandfather as her human, and sleeping on his feet at night.

Momma Kitty’s kittens would seek out Their Human, and, when Their Human would pick them up, and pet them, and tell them how pretty they were, and how soft and warm they were, the kittens would purr, loudly, because the kittens had never learned that humans could be anything other than kind and loving.

Momma Kitty didn’t purr. She grew to tolerate the petting, she slept on the big bed with the people, and she cuddled with her kittens, she groomed them, they groomed her, and her kittens purred loudly whenever they got their grooming/kitty kisses from their Momma.

That is, Momma Kitty did not purr, until today. While Grandmother was laying in bed thinking about the things she was going to accomplish that day, Momma Kitty crept up to Grandmother’s side, laying down next to her. Grandmother wrapped Momma kitty up in her arms, pulling her in closely.

Momma kitty began to purr! Not a quiet, almost there, can-you-really-hear-it sort of purr, but an honest, loud, full throated purr, that filled the room, and Grandmother’s heart, a purr of trust, of contentment, of finally being in a home, with a family, and being safe and warm.

Momma Kitty was Home.

Check Your Preps · guns · Humility · Pre Planning Your Scene · Uncategorized

Be Prepared! Both Equipment As Well As Training.

Today, as I write this, 15 people were killed (and one asshole) in Sydney Australia. In addition, in Providence RI, two people were killed and nine injured (lamentably, the asshole has not been reported to be dead/injured).

Then, there is the 20 rounds discharged at a Jewish family’s home, associated with Hanukkah decorations (with fortunately no injuries. There are some indications that this was not a firearm, perhaps an airsoft gun) (Apparently, no assholes were injured. Sadly enough.)

This reminds me of that feat of pistol handling displayed on 07/17/2022, at the Greenwood Park Mall, by Elisjsha Dickens. Mr Dickens, a civilian concealed carrier, produced his Glock handgun, fired ten rounds, striking the asshole with 8 of them, and ended the shooting, reportedly 15 seconds after the asshole initiated shooting. This was a distance of 40 yards.

Miguel Gonzalez, of the Miguel Gonzalez Substack commented on the Sydney (“Bondi Beach”) shooting, estimating it to be a shot of around 60 yards.

Now, *I* am not that good. I am presently not capable of reliably making a 40 yard, let alone 60 yard, shot with a handgun. On the other hand (a) I, reliably, will have a handgun on my person, and (b) I suspect that incoming fire will disturb the assholes’ attack tempo. Perhaps, The Patron Saint Of Good Guys’ Accuracy will guide me to hit one, or both, while they are reloading, and therefore not moving. (And, should Kharma Be A Thing, never moving ever again thereafter!)