Fun and Games In The Public Schools!

So, my daughter, Brenda, had injured her knee in gym class at middle
 school.  
We lived about a mile from the school, and, once she had told the 
teacher about her knee injury, did that teacher, or any other official of h
the  school, call her mother, the nurse?  To quote Eddie Murphy, in his 
persona of The Ganga Teacher, "No, no, noooo, no!"

Did they phone her father, the nurse?  Again, "No, no, noooo, no!"

Did they have a teacher drive her home, so that she would not have to
walk home on her injured knee?  As you might have anticipated at thisw
 point in my rant, "No, no, noooo, no!"

Did they put her on a bus, again, to prevent her walking home on her 
demonstrably injured knee?  If you have read this far, sing along with 
me: "No, no, noooo, no!"

Instead, of course, they sent her home, walking, on her injured knee, 
around a mile from school to her home. 

As you may have guessed at this point, I was not favorably impressed. 
Nay, I was pissed. 

I wrapped her knee, applied ice, elevated it, after identifying no marked 
instability.  It did hurt her with walking (which, of course, the idiots at
 the school had required her to do to get home, since they had NOT 
called her father, or her mother.  But, perhaps, I had already told you
 that little detail) 

I dosed her with ibuprofen, and put her to bed. I wrote her a no physical 
education note, and retained a copy for myself. I signed it, 
"Reltney McFee, RN, BSN".

In the morning she appeared  improved enough to return to school. 
Therefore, in consultation with She Who Must Be Obeyed, we decided
 to send her to school. We drove her. Ourselves. To make sure that she s
did not have to walk. 

So, that afternoon  I was surprised to receive a phone call from the
 phys ed teacher.  This worthy told me that he required a note FROM A
 DOCTOR, in order to keep her out of class. I pointed out that he had, in
 his hand, a suitable note, that I had written, directing him to keep my
 child out of gym class until further notice. 

He replied that, absent a note from a physician, he would require my 
child to participate in gym class. 

I gave this a second's thought, and brought him up to speed. "So, let me
 see if I am understanding you.  You have a note, in hard copy, in your 
physical possession, written by me, her father and a Registered Nurse, 
directing you to keep my child out of gym class due to an injury she 
suffered on school property, and notifying you that, should shegrounds
 participate in gym class she could sustain additional injury.  You, in 
your medical judgment, have determined that you know more of this 
sort of thing than I, and will contravene my explicit instruction, in my
 capacity as her father and a registered nurse of 20 years experience.  
Cool story.  I'm certain that the jury at your lawsuit will be very 
impressed.  Perhaps impressed to the tune of several hundred 
thousand dollars."

He sputtered, "You cannot sue me!"

"Really? Is that what your attorney told you?"

"I do not have a lawyer."

"Well, what do you know?  I DO have a lawyer, and you can, too!  Once 
my lawyer serves you with the papers he will prepare to hold you
 personally responsible for my daughters crippling injury, suffered 
through your willful and wanton negligence, ignoring the specific
 instruction that I, her father and a registered nurse, have provided you.
 In writing. Right about that point, I wager you will find yourself a lawyer!"

He sputtered a while longer, and noted that he would, sooner or later,
 require a note from a physician. I told him that I would obtain one, at
 my earliest convenience. And, I'd provide him a copy. 

The call terminated. 

Once I had my daughter in my vehicle, outside the school, I asked her 
how gym class had gone.  

"Fine, Dad.  They sent me to study hall, and for some reason, the
 teacher seemed pissed about something."

I smiled, and replied, "Well, it might have been something about sending 
you, and our attorney's kid, and his attorney's kid, as well, to a very nice 
college!"

She looked puzzled at that, but, what the hell, I wasn't going to be able to 
put things over on her for very much longer, and I ought to savor the few 
remaining opportunities. 

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